It is OK to Be Picky

Usually when someone uses the word “picky” it has a negative connotation, however, aren’t we choosy about where we live, what we eat, who are friends are, etc.? 

Those seem to be acceptable in most circumstances but there is one area that I don’t feel we are picky enough which is being more discerning about what we think about.

Unfortunately we are bombarded each and every day with lots of information of which much of it is useless. 

We also may cloud our minds with grudges, regrets, and mistakes we have made in our lives.

All of this can be very draining, unproductive, and unhealthy.  Instead we need to encourage ourselves to be pickier about what we want to spend our time thinking about.

This is even more true in the workplace.

Besides what was mentioned so far, we waste precious time listening to gossip, hearsay, and any other useless information that crosses our desks.

It is necessary to be in tune with what office politics is happening around you, but when do you say enough is enough?

We also waste valuable time rehashing things that we either have no control over and/or wish we handled differently. 

It is critical to learn from our past mistakes but then you need to move forward.

Constantly hitting the replay button probably won’t get you anywhere.

All of this is easier said than done so establishing boundaries with others is necessary.

However, how do you create boundaries for yourself?

The first thing that I suggest is to set limits.

As an example, I will think about this for ten more minutes and then I am going to try to let it go.

Others I know write it down in a journal but then it is still in existence.

Talking to others or a therapist can help too but they are not always immediately available.

If you think of being a more pickier thinker as a goal then you need to set a reward for yourself when you actually stop thinking about the issue. 

When you do something nice for yourself you are more apt to stick with your goal so make a list of rewards that you truly desire.

They can be very small like treating yourself to an ice cream or a massage or they can be much bigger, but the key thing is that it has to make an impact.

As a leader, you need to realize that others are looking up to you.

If they see that you can’t let things go, your employees may be nervous about bringing up current problems because they know you will also rehash old ones that have already been resolved.

This can lead to an environment where no one feels comfortable speaking up which leads to a toxic workplace.

Be more cognizant about your thoughts and see if there are certain people and/or patterns exist.

Then devise a plan on how to set boundaries for yourself so that eventually you can let things go faster and more effectively.

Embrace your picky mindset!