Our emotions drive our behaviors, however, at times our emotions are so intense it clouds our judgment.
When these triggers happen, the appropriate way to deal with them is to pause and ask yourself some questions.
According to the book, Too Much – A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency, the author Terri Cole suggests that it may be useful to try to identify the source of the triggers by asking yourself these three questions –
- “Who does this person remind me of?
- Where have I felt this way before?
- Why is this behavioral dynamic familiar to me?”
After you fully understand the answers to these questions, the next thing to determine is how you are going to monitor these emotions in the future.
If this step is not done, then you may feel that you are on a hamster wheel because you keep going through the same psychological cycle and you are not moving forward.
It could get so bad that you may feel paralyzed due to over analyzing these triggers and not coming to healthy solutions.
The last part is to determine how to manage these triggers.
Keep in mind that no two scenarios will be exactly the same so it is necessary to identify patterns in your behaviors.
This can help determine which course of action to take for x situation but it may also mean that you take a different course of action for y situation.
All of this is about demonstrating high emotional intelligence.
Those who exhibit high EQ not only function better but are usually happier in their lives. 
They also are not only true to themselves but it can lead to more meaningful relationships with others.
So if this makes sense, what are the reasons why people don’t spend more time on being more self-aware and work on increasing their EQ?
According to Cole, we use defense mechanisms “to protect ourselves from feeling discomfort, guilt, or anxiety. These feelings can arise if we feel threatened or internally conflicted.”
In other words, when we feel a certain unease we are either forced out of our comfort zone to deal with the situation or we stay in our own bubble, put our fingers in our ears, and start saying “la, la, la” like we did when we were children and did not like to be told “no” and/or we were being reprimanded.
This can be compounded when our emotions suddenly take over unexpectedly and we feel helpless.
As an example, there is a group project at work that is taking six months to complete. At Month Five, your boss tells the team that they have to pivot because the executives have changed direction.
You usually are okay with this but this time you lash out and you are not really sure why you did. You are possibly embarrassed and/or upset and/or tired because you feel you have no control over the situation.
Going back and reviewing those questions should help clarify what is going on but that takes time and you are on a deadline.
Even taking a walk to change your environment or doing something else that makes you feel good even for 15 minutes can be a way to positively regroup and then face the situation more realistically.
It may not be a long period of time right then but hopefully you can spend more time (probably out of the office) to give it further introspection.
Triggers are usually a reaction to a past event and although we may try to minimize them as much as possible, you also have to realize that others may not be as well-equipped as you on how to deal with them.
Be patient and try to listen emphatically to help others feel better and a sense of calm.