Respect, Reflect, and Reject

As we know, there are many stubborn people in this world. 

At times, I admit I can be stubborn as well; however, I realized over time that my stubbornness was holding me back.

In other words, I was missing out on things because I was so set on doing it one way only.

I also see this behavior in my friends and family, resulting in a lot of wasted time and possibly heartache.

Through lots of introspection and discussions with others, I realized that my stubbornness has to do with being in control. 

Very few can survive living continuously in a chaotic life so we seek some level of control but that is not always feasible.

Due to insecurity and other issues (maybe from our childhood), we seek control not only of ourselves but also try to control others.

This is common in the workplace, especially when dealing with micro-managers.

These types of managers should be labeled time wasters.

If they are constantly hovering over their staff like a snowplow parent, then they must find other times in the day to do their own work which we know is not productive.

By doing this, the motivation of their team drastically diminishes and morale becomes non-existent.

Great leaders recognize the balance they must achieve in terms of control of their team’s actions. 

It is challenging because the leader can’t treat each team member the same, so it is a constant re-evaluation.

As certain staff members grow and develop, less oversight may work but others may go the other way due to external forces (i.e., family issues), health matters, boredom, etc. that now require more of the leader’s time to assist this person.

In speaking with effective leaders that I know, they will tell you they do a lot of reflecting. 

Some of the things they think about center around their views on certain team members and how they have changed over time.

Do they feel these team members are less effective now so that has clouded the leader’s judgment on their current capabilities and future desires? 

A smart leader will try to reject negative thoughts and realize we all have highs and lows. They will also identify this person’s strengths and identify ways to leverage them better.

One has to be careful though because a team member could be really good at something but hates doing it, or they don’t desire doing it any longer.

They must also realize that they may have to give up some things they like doing and delegate it to others so that their team learns new skills. 

These leaders also must empower their staff to try accomplishing these things their own way even though it may take longer and/or are less desirable in the long run.

Stubborn leaders who insist on having things done “their way” may only be met with resistance, or in the case of my former neighbor, he did things the way the boss wanted until he left the room and then went back to his old ways.

The bottom line is that leaders need to respect their team to do the right thing when accomplishing their duties.

They need to also spend time reflecting on not only how things are going but why some may be resistant to change.

They then need to reject their own assumptions and have a frank discussion with each team member on how they want the work environment to be, now and in the future.

Lastly, they need to let go of control.