When I went on vacation last March in Milan; I did not realize how significant it would be. My best
friend’s son is a Marine and is stationed there with his wife so we wanted to visit. Besides touring the Duomo and the Galleria as well as viewing the painting of the Last Supper, we took a cooking class where we learned how to make pasta and a couple of sauces. Afterwards, we finished cooking, and we enjoyed our food that we made. The last part of the meal which is common in Milan is having a small glass of limoncello. This homemade drink was so tasty I brought some home with me.
Now it is three months later and my plans for a fun summer have been a bit curtailed. Last week while pruning a rhododendron bush, I fell off the side of my koi pond and onto the ground (I did not, however, fall into the pond). I hit the left side of my face and my right wrist. After being a bit dazed, I went to urgent care begrudgingly praying that I have not broken anything. Unfortunately, that is not the case. The nurse told me that I fractured my right wrist which requires me to sport a new blue fashion accessory – a waterproof cast.
Obviously, I am not happy for several reasons – I love to garden and do yardwork. I love to go to the beach. I also like to go on spur-of-the-moment trips. So after three days of being annoyed/sad/frustrated with my situation, I decided to pour myself a tiny glass of limoncello. I wasn’t sure if it went well with Aleve but I figured it couldn’t be that bad.
I then realized that this was not the end of the world.
This did require me to reevaluate my summer plans a bit. First, I would have to ask for help which I am
not good at. I would also have to reschedule some of the activities that I wanted to do at least until the cast is off. I also would need to learn how to be a leftie (left hand dominant).
I then looked at the things in my office that I had not been able to get to when I was teaching, training, etc. I reviewed some of the online courses I had wanted to take. I also made a list of friends that I had not spoken to in a while. Lastly, I finally had the time to do more writing which as much as I enjoy it, I never feel that my creative side of my brain functions well when I have other priorities.
As leaders, it is important to recognize how they and more importantly their staff deal with disappointment.
Something a leader may think is “no big deal” could mean something completely different for someone else. The Kubler-Ross Grief Model explains the process that people deal with grief but it also can apply to disappointment or change. Some can go through some stages pretty quickly and others may take a lot longer.
Here is a brief description of each phase of the model:
The first phase is denial. That was something even I experienced. I was trying to convince myself that my wrist was not broken but just a bit bruised.
The next phase is anger. In my case, I was angry that I was trying to be so careful coming off the top level but still fell anyway.
As I was driven to urgent care, I faced the third phase which is bargaining. I was clinging to hope that my life would be the same as before with only a few days of inconvenience. How wrong was I!
The next phase is depression and although I got a bit teary, I powered through as I mentioned before and almost bypassed this phase.
The last phase is acceptance which is where I am today.
The other thing leaders need to consider is that some of their team members may not be aware of how they feel or are not willing to admit they are struggling.
By being more “socially aware” of those you work with, hopefully a leader can recognize signs of distress, etc.
By showing compassion and patience, this affected person hopefully can come through this situation without suffering too much pain.
If limoncello is not to your liking, I suggest lemon sorbet. Just remember that we all have issues we are facing so try to be more accepting of others and even yourself.
